Devastated family want to move loved one’s remains after grave repeatedly vandalised

A heartbroken family say they wish to move their loved one’s remains and have her cremated because her grave has been repeatedly vandalised.

Ian Tester, 50, said he and his family have been left “devastated”, after the grave of his late sister Gemma was vandalised for a second time earlier this year, following a previous incident last summer.

Gemma died from cancer in November 2024, and is buried in Southwick Cemetery.

Mr Tester said the incidents had caused the family “immense emotional pain”.

He added: “All ornaments and personal tributes were stolen, leaving the grave bare.

“My niece [Gemma’s daughter] has learning difficulties and is deeply affected.

“The grave holds immense sentimental value for our family, and seeing it targeted twice has been heart-breaking.”

Gemma’s grave before it was damaged (Image: Ian Tester)

Gemma’s grave was first damaged on June 29 last year.

The memorial was later restored but was then damaged for a second time on January 25, earlier this year.

After the first incident, the family installed a camera near to the grave, in an attempt to safeguard it from further damage.

However, Mr Tester said the camera failed to pick up the second incident.

He added: “The stuff was on the grave that night.

“But then at five in the morning, it was gone.”

They were later told the camera needed to be removed.

Mr Tester said he hoped that by raising public awareness of the damage, it would help prevent further incidents and encourage respect and care at cemeteries.

He added that the family had since agreed they would like Gemma to be removed from the cemetery and cremated.

A spokesperson for Adur & Worthing councils, responsible for managing Southwick Cemetery, said: “We are aware of complaints regarding the removal of memorial items left at this particular grave site, but not of any damage to the grave.

“To be interred in one of our cemeteries, families have the option to purchase the exclusive right of burial, which is a legal agreement granting an individual or individuals the exclusive right to determine who is buried in a specific grave or plot for a set period.

“The owner does not own the land itself, but holds the right to authorise burials and place memorials, in accordance with the burial ground regulations.

“We do have regulations on which items can be placed at a grave, but have not removed any items from this site.

“We have corresponded with the deceased person’s family to offer advice on potential courses of action to resolve the issue.”

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Gemma’s grave after it was damaged for the second time earlier this year (Image: Ian Tester)

Mr Tester said the family had reported the vandalism to police, but no one has been identified in connection with the incidents.

A spokesperson for Sussex Police said: “On March 8, police received a report of damage to a vase and flowers left at a grave in Southwick Cemetery.

“No one has been identified in connection with the report at this time.

“Anyone with information is asked to report it to police online or by calling 101, quoting reference 47260046137.

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